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I hid in the shrubs when Mum came outside to see what was happening. She told me she just wanted a bit of fun, and now she turns around and does this! So many you should go change, and then we can be in love at another time. James: Can I join you? Backstage is the top resource for acting monologues content and jobs that will help you land your dream opportunity . But it turns out bikes can go fast and flip you into the road. Well, I didnt mean that in any kind of lascivious way, so I dont know why you want to take it like that. Oversized jacket. Minnie Fay: Same old story, cherries and feathers, cherries and feathers. Thats the bit I dont like, frankly. Oh Hello! - Definition, Artists & Instruments, What Is Rumba? Im a fact checker for Christs sake. His name for me. ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! Now your boyfriend, Ive known since kindergarten. I am exactly the type of man your parents want you to marry. All that being said, Hello, Dolly!, is one of the most famous songs in all of musical theater. Dolly Levi: No man does, Horace, no man does. I searched high and low through that kitchen. Just so I can ride on the same bus with him. Get over it. or asleep? So I thought about it and realised that I had to treat it like a boxing match, get the first punch in, so to speak, to give me the upper hand in our relationship. I need you to remember about the picture, and about how I stop by your office every Friday, and how Ive always hated all your boyfriends, and how the two girls Ive ever seriously dated have looked like less attractive versions of you. Annie, wake up, youre related to a bona fide genius. But then I remembered. And you dont expect that when you break up with someone do you? And the phlegm just slid away. Its weird to say this, because in many ways Im already in so deep. Im in a great mood. I wouldnt think about it, if I were you. We don't currently have any monologues from Hello, Dolly! All other trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners. Getting some tests done. Take a look at our Were twins, arent we? Im not kidding you. . So take her to thee, shepherd. Prom is the quintessential teenage experience. I mean: not fine fine everythings. They just don't make musicals like this any more. This thing with Naomi-okay, it should never have happened-but it didnt have to impact on what I have with Meg. By my troth, it is no addition to her wit nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. Cornelius Hackl: I've lost everything: my job, my future, everything people *think* is important, but I don't care - because even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life, I shall be a ditch-digger who once had a wonderful day. --Rochelle O'Gorman Genre: Comedy, Musical, Romance Stars: Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau, Michael Crawford, Marianne McAndrew Production: 20th Century Fox Won 3 Oscars. In this lesson, we will examine this peculiarly successful musical. They all stare, mesmerized, at the strutting JEFFREY. What does a girl have to do these days? She closed the curtains after that. I opened the caf with my friend Boo. Why? I still have your virginity. Im sorry I said anything to Dennis. Next thing I know her clothes are off and were loosening roof shingles like theres no tomorrow. Horace: I'm going to march in the 14th street parade with the only kind of people I can trust, 700 men. I mean, best in ages. Transfer to Washington. I don't know who he is, but I do know this: At a time when I was trying to hide myself from myself, he was there to show me a new way. Head over heels. Come and join the fun in our online acting class, Copyright 2023 StageMilk | an ARH Media PTY LTD website. But then it dawned on me. They want you to slay a dragon for them one second, then cry at a guide dog commercial the next. And thats it. Some feeling? Bedroom. I have to figure out what Im doing. But then one of the other doctors popped in, called him Nigel, mentioned something about badminton so I thought: probably not. Gene: This also has meant all the people had to be younger. Jerry Herman's energetic Hello, Dolly! Hello, Dolly! They get enough practice thats for sure. Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book file PDF. I see a man walking towards me from the bus stop. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow. But the problem is.despite every fact I can muster, theres something that still doesnt check out. On one hand, I want to forget her. I thought you could just change my life and show me the whole world. Lysander! And Im buggin. From the south, have a good job And an absolutely wonderful dancer, if I do say so myself. On the other, I think shes the only person on Earth who can make me happy. When it was time for her to leave, he asked if he could look at her face for a while so that he would have something beautiful to remember in the long months ahead. Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. Prom is short for Promenade, a slow, gentle walk through a shady glen, and this beloved ceremony symbolizes our journey from the shadows of adolescence to the bright sunshine of the adult world with all its freedoms. Because a "monologue" - or lengthy piece of script that doesn't include anyone else speaking, allows the actor auditioning to perform without the need for a reader. Horace: All the facts about you are insults! - Definition, Artists & History, What is Gospel Music? Cornelius Hackl: We're gonna close the store. Do it! But I dont say that. She says, Surely you must have noticed? But that was the thing. And you with all the talk about love .only make them nervous and easier for us to. I dont think hes breathing. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Enrolling in a course lets you earn progress by passing quizzes and exams. I think you have to marry me. Young women need the Prom. Thats about as bad as it can get! If elected I promise that I will pray more often. No one at Westerburgs going to let you play their reindeer games. Its no good you going on. And do you know what I do? She took a giant shit on my face. These monologues will work well for auditions, perhaps a showreel update or for just some self-taping fun. How came her eyes so bright? file Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book Free Download PDF at Our eBook Library. Afternoons, long, long rides! And I look up and theres Chuck. New York, NY, Escape To Margaritaville Why, it must be requited. I mean, it wasnt like a disease or like some people have, thyroid or that type of deal she just shovelled shit into her mouth all the time, had a few kids, and, bang, shes up there at 350, maybe more. It was the fault of the psychiatrist. Back, through, around, behind. Of natures sale-work. Ive got angina. They were running around the backyard burning and howling-theres no such thing as grace under pressure for a burning cat, let me tell you. Hes wearing this perplexed expression and hes saying you want me to leap tall buildings and be sensitive and supportive?! Life in a box is better than no life at all. Christ almighty, try working for you for a living! Youre jokin? I says. Not just who we are- jobs or that kind of thing- but it does play into it as well. I think. Styles havent changed so terribly much after all. library of free monologues. Than she a woman: tis such fools as you All morality. I would definitely recommend Study.com to my colleagues. Cornelius Hackl: Because I'm gonna light some candles under them. Break a finger, maybe. LEVI (Continued) AND A GIRL OVER SIX FOOT THREE LOVES A MAN WHO COME UP TO HER EAR, SURELY, IT'S OBVIOUS SHE'LL NEVER BE SEDUCED TIL SOME KIND SOUL CONDESCENDS TO GIVE HER BEAU A LITTLE BOOST! Your mum must be pretty stoked that youre not taking me. Olive: My entire life! I know, right? So, hey, Lise you wanna go see Judas Priest at Nassau Coliseum? And I know you have feelings for me, too. Fresh dough the good sausages thick and Boy, he just ate em up. Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? I mean one thinks of it like being alive in a box, one keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead which should make a difference shouldnt it? I get paid in puke! Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. Oh, it was fine. I took quinine but kept on going, going ! For beasts that meet me run away for fear: Quotes.net. The original play "Hello Dolly" was adapted from. I dont believe in them. Since Im being judged by a jury of my peers I will attempt to insert like and totally into my confession as much as possible. Cooking for all you nice people has really helped me get over the fact that I fought in the Vietnam War. Hows he gonna love something that looks like that, get all sexy with her? Im fine now. Just give me five minutes of your time, Mr. Hackl, and I'll have you dancing in the streets. Juno: Anyway, I go off and a couple of weeks later I go back for the ultrasound. I still cant believe it. And Im like, Whats the problem? and he says The problem is, dude, youre fucking my girlfriend. So I look at Marissa and Im like Youre someones girlfriend? And she says No. Then it comes out Chuck just wishes shes his girlfriend but actually shes his cousin or something, so hes got these feelings of guilt about wanting herand then he starts crying. Thats a fact. Its a rite of passage as sacred as getting your drivers license or buying your first bra. Dolly Levi: Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we go inside? Is that clear? Men dont have strokes when theyre thirty eight years old. I know its a lot to swallow, but you gotta take it on face value, because theres a timer attached to this thing and its counting down. Alison? All right, Ill hold them myself And then I (She stops in front of the picture.) To catch a beau I suppose. Now I know this sounds like Im throwing away everything Ive said so far. And it may be the only chance Ill ever have to dance with a boy. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! I mean Im fifteen and worried about every little thing, and Ive got this fucking sumo wrestler in a housecoat trailing behind me. The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. All rights reserved. copyright 2003-2023 Study.com. After I plan my future around our wedding. Now I have to get going do my part. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; Ill tell you why: because when I had anything to do with her six years ago, there was no such thing I hadnt even thought of it yet! She knows everything Im ever going to do before I know it myself. Matchmaker Dolly Levi is a widow, a matchmaker, and also a professional meddler --but everything changes when she decides that the next match she needs to make is to find someone for herself. I pulled myself up, I studied hard, I read every book in the library and now I work for the government and have the highest possible security clearance. This is my side. Kim: Im not the kind of guy who spends hundreds on a last minute flight, back to New York, tears across town, then run up six flights of stairs and knocks on my best friends girlfriends door in order to run off and elope with her Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career his humour? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Our 9x sold out online acting course returns soon. He tells me theres a one in four chance Im not fertile, that I cant be a father, like. There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. and Im supposed to be at a game by seven, Im on JV, and shes just farting around in the candy isle, picking up bags of fun size Snickers and checking out the calories. Brandon: Sometimes you just want a fucking still life or landscape or soup can or comic book! She is the lead in a musical which shares the same name as the song. A young actor might want to look at the character of Claudio in . Its my Achilles flaw or something. Dolly Levi: It makes me feel good to have so many friends. My ego had taken a severe battering from her. Hes about to say something. How many times have I heard that? Based on Thornton Wilder's play The Matchmaker, Hello, Dolly! Cornelius Hackl: We have to, 'cause some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode. Theyve showered me with leaflets. He would hate me for telling you but hed lost control of his bowels. Martins dead. Can I be a dad or not? Your head! Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. : " I Shall Go Mad! Boom. I dont know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! I mean, I couldnt have a lesbian there. And God knows we tried. One of those days. Stop! The point is Im messed up. Im all walking like Ive got a paintbrush up my arse, thinking: Well, all power to George W I dont want the fucking pricks to win, either. Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with You and ask for things, but now I really must insist that You help me win the election tomorrow, because I deserve it and Paul Metzier doesnt, as You well know. Im referring to myself when I say Megan, its me Megan. I mean, youd never know you were in a box, would you? I have, we have feelings for each other. Just pretend that nothing happened. Irene, my dear, congratulations. I tell her she reminds me of Sandra Bullock. - Definition, History & Songs, What Is Swing Music? For instance, okay, junior year I dated this girl, Sue Hornick. Who should get into the lift with me on floor number seven? Well, okay, um There were a few times that I couldve done that. Guys are blind, they really are, OBLIVIOUS to when a girl is not interested. And out of you she sees herself more proper In the performance, there are 3 important monologues: Cornelius's 'wonderful things', Dolly's 'Ephram', and Hector's 'foolishness' monologues. Ugh! Thats the thing. Im okay! Its always tricky finding a great comedy monologue as lets be honest, most comedy monologues arent exactly standup routines. They love me. She seems to shed real tears in Dolly's monologues to her late husband Ephraim . He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along. Here's a snippet: Hello, Dolly! Hey, Lisa. He clears his throat, brings his hand to his mouth and coughs: Walk of shame. They met in a donut shop. So of course the rugby guys and the rowing guys and the wrestling guys would come in at night and theyd pin me down and get it out of their system the rage. Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind, ample-ish breast size and an occasional corny knock-knock joke do enter this video blog in the case against me. Fare you well.. But I cant help it. Thats how it is with women. On this chip he had laboriously painted my grandmothers face, using ashes mixed with water for ink, and his own hair as a paintbrush. So she tells me then that I might have what they call an undescended testes, meanin that one dropped, but the other didntshe said Id have to get it checked out, cos if there was one still up there it would have to be removed because, guess what it could become cancerous. Id been seeing him because of my Pyromania thats a person who likes lighting fires-but you probably know that being University educated. How was I to know he was about to die. Loved her even. How come Judy Rude lost out to Molly Blah? Like, you know what Bleek? Dead? And then I almost threw up, because that lady who smells of egg went by, and also because what if, what if wed stayed together, what if hed asked me, and Id said yes in a moment of madness and let him do his thing, and wed done the normal stuff, and had the babies, would that be my life now? Its stupid, but like Id started imaginin it, what Id be like, walkin around with a little fella holdin me hand, teachin him how to cross the road, or a little girl and holdin her up in the air the way they look down at you, theyre so amazed to be up high. I figured Id wait a couple of hours till the cats were dead and mum was feeling a bit sorry for herself and Id knock on the front door and say to her Hi, mum, Ive come to talk about our unresolved conflicts but, oh, no, one of those cats ran into the house. So I put the dog outside but the smell didnt go away. I didnt tell her parents the truth. Regina George: Im taking care of it. Always the same, isnt it. " from Fourteen " Tommy Has Proposed " from An Ideal Husband (Mabel) " You Won't Misunderstand Me " from The Goal (Sir Stephen) " You're Quite a Girl " from 42nd Street (Julian) " You've Got to Come Back a Star " from 42nd Street (Julian) Rudolph Reisenweber: No expression. I make an appointment, six weeks later in I go. Every evening for all these years I've put out the cat, I've locked the door, I've made myself a little rum toddy, and before I went to bed I said a prayer, thanking God that I was independent, that no one else's life was mixed up with mine. Soul mates? We have put together a massive list of comedy monologues for men and women, from theatre, film and TV. I take half an hour trying to look nice and I ended up looking amazing. Ill tell everyone about tonight. Based on Thornton Wilder's play The Matchmaker, Hello, Dolly! Writing these movies in my head where Adam and me are the stars. And you know what Im gonna get her back. Ten years. Its a fairly effective combination. Sullivan, ticket seller: Where to, Dolly? The musician. Minnie Fay: A banana a day keeps the doctor away. You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I dont want you to get hurt. petrol and put a match to them. Book by Music and Lyrics by MICHAEL STEWART JERRY HERMAN Based on the play THE MATCHMAKER by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion-Five, Inc, DOLLY Property of: 4 Lyries~@ Copyright 1963 by Jerry Herman. Picnics. Its too late to go home and change. Because the fact is you are in a relationship. She accidentally killed herself. Firecrackers, literally, not figuratively. Its envy, isnt it? And smelling like hibiscus. I mean, I know its not nice to have a bit of your stomach lining poking out, I get it, I do, but really how much more is there to say? But then this guy called Corey joined our school, and suddenly all that stopped. Watch instead for the musical numbers and the lavish costumes. How about Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Judy Garland, Liza Minelli, Marvin Gaye, Benny Goodman, and Frank Sinatra, among others. I cant open sardines and answer the phone. There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. It wasnt my fault, was it? Really Dolly. My dad was always working late golfing on weekends, and I knew it was because of her. I tell her I loved Hope Floats. My grandparents. Wed finished our dinner. Ive got a crush on Adam. was an important and frequently covered piece. And he looked heavy, I mean, who knew hed go flying. But how was I to know? Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. Something he normally never would have done. JEFFREY abruptly switches from rage to good humor, adopting a supercilious smile and a patronizing tone. That they wont be bettered. Like, one of my favourites is that the bus breaks down one day in this remote place and there we are stranded together. No, Mr. Brents not hereHe lives here, yes, but he dont live here now because he lives in Spain Mr. Philip Brent, thats right. Like they just need so much help and theyre in those ugly cages, you know what I mean? Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. The consultant basically said I could pop my clogs at any moment. Not the case Annie. I cant imagine any other painter in the history of art ever tried so hard to be SIGNIFICANT! Pat. But you know what? Blubbering, whining, crying Chuck. Sister Winnie: Still, where would we be now if we had children? Martin, I said. Evidence. And he starts in on how hes just this total fuck up and maybe he should just throw himself off the roof. What wicked and dissembling glass of mine - Definition, History & Artists, What Is Reggae? 'Hello, Dolly!' Where: Hollywood Pantages Theatre, 6233 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angeles When: 8 p.m. Tuesdays-Friday, 2 and 8 p.m. Saturdays, 1 and 6:30 p.m. Sundays; ends Feb. 17 Tickets: $35 and. I think youre ready to hear a little story about a girl named Megan who didnt have a very good time in high school. 10 o'clock an. Wilder's uproarious farce about love and money, stars the irrepressible busybody, Dolly Gallagher Levi, who inspired the Broadway musical, Hello, Dolly! Not about the swearing, the things I called her, nothing. . Shes really crying hard now, and she goes back into the bedroom. She carries a bunch of jonquils the legend of her youth is nearly revived.). Well, boy, oh, boy, what a racket! My Brewster, no one ever called him a great mind, even he hits the can seventy percent of the time. You see, heres the problem. You know what I mean? - Definition, History & Artists, What Is the Tango? Yknow, about authentic love. She looks at me and says, Are you aware that you only have one testicle? Well, I nearly dropped, or I would have only she was holding me by the and obviously one of them hadnt dropped, or somethin. is a musical filled with charisma and with heart. It made some sort of cosmic sense. Society just wants to put everyone in a box. Henry: 1. Isnt that silly. Jealous. Which means he did. My friend Boomers hooking me up a job at the Mercedes dealership on Jericho Turnpike. : Synopsis, Characters & Monologues, Jefferson Airplane: History, Members & Songs, Jerry Herman: Biography, Songs & Musicals, Julie Andrews: Biography, Movies, Books & Awards, Leonard Bernstein: Biography, Compositions & Musicals, My Fair Lady: Summary, Characters & Setting, New Orleans Jazz: History, Music & Musicians, Rhythm & Blues: Definition, History, Artists & Songs, Rodgers & Hammerstein: Biography & Musicals, Stephen Sondheim: Biography, Songs & Musicals, The Rolling Stones: Biography, Members & Songs, The Sound of Music: Summary, History & Characters, The Temptations: Biography, Albums & Songs, West Side Story: Summary, Songs, Characters & Composer, What Is Folk Music? Far more interesting than all those silly girls at school. If you are reading a monologue below and feel excited to get up and have a play that is your monologue. Is he crazy? I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but youre probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know were getting a dog and youre moving in. To unlock this lesson you must be a Study.com Member. I says. Dont repeat that. You know the problem with pyromania? Were in bed. Yeah, its whatever, but this once, in the grocery store, were at Albertsons and were pushing four baskets around you wanna know how humiliating that shit is? So I stood there in the shop, and there were loads of congratulations cards new babies, pink and blue, storks with bundles, balloons, all spewing out. --Rochelle O'Gorman, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_5140, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_quotes_5140. This Book have some digitalformats such us : kindle, epub, ebook, paperbook, and another formats. The monologue must be from a play or musical you have not performed in. yonkers and new york city, the end of the 19th century, College/University, Community Theatre, High School, Professional Theatre, Religious Groups. Cos hes chatting up some girl or something. Does that make any sense? But by the end of the day it was like the more, the merrier. I dont know if Stephen said. Something Ive resurrected from that old trunk! Not every painting has to rip your guts out and expose your soul! Don't worry about the lack of a solid story or Gene Kelly's pedestrian direction. Seriously. There was fucking everybody: everyones hopes were up there in those two towers.Its a war, Talbot It is a war. They say the lady is fair tis a truth, I can bear them witness. It was as though a large piece of phlegm had lodged in my throat and my words couldnt pass it. I find actors always have great dramatic pieces on their casting profiles, or at auditions, but rarely have a great comic monologue. I have for a very long time. I always just assumed I had two. And they were his last words. The Fact Checker: I know its hopeless. I mean how hard is it to have one kid asleep at night in your house how hard is it but no . I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN WHO ARRANGES THINGS. I really like you. It wasnt my fault. Than without candle may go dark to bed, Five of them, running around the backyard like mobile bonfires. Coz all of those things would exponentially cooler than going to the dance with you. Not literally. Hello, Dolly! I love you Kate. Im just, I feel that we should maybe stop before we get too far. I recommend reading a bunch of monologues below and then just making a gut choice. Evenings, dances ! I lost 75 pounds. Never have. Stop seeing each other or going out or anything like that. So, I suddenly go off on her, like, this sophomore in high school, but Im all screaming in her face Dont look at the package, take a look in the mirror, you cow! I do know that I am, and I cant overcome it, I mean. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Fleabag: I can see that now. Not everyone wants art that actually HURTS! In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain? I cant just live in this limbo. Then were in the bathroom, and shes putting all her makeup and shit into a bag, and shes telling me that its nothing Ive done, this Eric guy is totally different, they connect on a whole other level. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake, Rosalind: Act 3, Scene 5 When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Im with you now, but Im thinking about him, and thats not fair to either of us. Because I know now how weak I am and that Im not really deserving of you, of all you have to offer me. Im crazy. Im gonna give you the short version of an incredibly complicated and f up situation, so please be cool. Were talking about intercourse? Why do you look on me? Would I be happy?

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