Since your hunch is that she does like you, all you really need to do is open a door. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. We ended up going separate ways in life, but he was a total gentleman and excellent +1 while it did last, and I still hold him in high regard years later. I once stayed at a youth hostel, the day after I checked out I ran into one of their employees on a bus, 200 km from the hostel. Imagine if they asked you out. That is, Cheese Guy was not an 18 year old cashier, he was the cheese manager for the chain. Build a relationship first, as one answer notes. If he says, Oh, I have to get home, maybe hes not so interested. NC for a month already, I dont think shes coming back. It seems pointless to overthink when the answer is either yes or no. He got aggressive with her when he found out I wasnt there, demanding to know where I was and when Id be back. Thats great in theory & hopefully one day we get there as a society, but the cold hard fact is that women are so much more likely than men to be assaulted or coerced on a date. I declined. What would think if one of your employees asked out a customer? Privacy Policy. "I don't know and I don't care" or if she answers something like: "I love those cookies, I wish someone would invite me to eat them.". I dont really care how kind you are or subtle about itits still off-putting. Also, I think waitressing positions in particularor any positions where tipping is involvedare especially good examples of this. First, make sure that you are respectful and courteous when asking for Youre visualizing a very specific scenario, where youre being asked out in a very nonthreatening way, presumably by having a woman express interest in you, which doesnt happen so much in a culture that discourages women from doing this. Google Schrodingers rapist if you want the full scoop. This happens to us (generally speaking; there are certainly exceptions) *so often* that it can feel predatory at our jobs, even if it really isnt. It has majorly given way to the You brought me my omelet and now were SOULMATES crowd, orat least in my citypeople not-so-discreetly trying to find prostitutes they used to, uh, frequent (that came out awful, but I dont know how else to put it). Even if you dont mean for this to be the case, you are in a position of power when you are his client, and its inappropriate to initiate something like this when youre not on equal terms. The cashier will not be creeped out by this approach and can indicate her receptiveness in how she responds to this no-pressure overture. a silly or gross pickup line, or outright propositioning) and a simple asking out (e.g. I also had people hang around the cash register after I had finished ringing them up try to continue to talk to me. Im going to have to think about this one. The waitress could have said oh, hes off the market or he gets number all the time and is sick of it or something like that so it would avoid the embarrassing interaction if there wasnt a chance for a positive outcome. I didnt realize what i had, made her second, and betrayed her.. now that shes gone i feel shes the 1. Just try not to come off like a creeper if you do ask, and really try to absorb the advice the other commenters have provided. Call me, you teapot vending minx side so even if you DO post something really innocuous, you still get painted with that really gross paintbrush. But its so much more likely that any given service worker is being nice to you because their continued employment and paycheck is dependent on being nice to you. I dont want to put her into an awkward position and Im stuck between a note approach (too pussy for a man) and directly asking her out (confidence). The last time I was in, I said it was weird we didnt know each others names by now, so I told her mine and got hers and the other cashiers she was talking to. So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. Are there any canonical examples of the Prime Directive being broken that aren't shown on screen? I dont know if I get hit on very often, Probably not since most of the male customers are either 5 years younger then me or at least 15 years older then me. I put up with flirting from customers at my job all the time because Im in a position where Im being paid to be nice and dont feel like I can shut it down like I would outside of work. If youve been hit on/propositioned once a shift for the past month, that one guy who is genuinely kind and interested in getting to know you is just going to be added to the SERIOUSLY! That will most certainly backfire. After you have built a basic connection with her, you can leave a brief note (with a smiley probably) as others have suggested. Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. I am a 23 year old man and i want to ask a girl out that works in a clothes shop nearby where i live. Giving away ones phone number is a safety risk for the girl with indeterminate reward - silly to ask. So if you do this, and he says anything thats not an enthusiastic yes, please reconsider shopping there again. I can find out though and that might make things a little less fraught, dynamics-wise, if he is. Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). OP here, thank you, and yes Im definitely not interested in objectifying this person or treating him like a piece of meat :). I had to over-analyze every word that came out of my mouth so as not to sound too friendly or encouraging. It was more of a problem dealing with the guys that worked nearby and shoppers in public areas. Hey, this looks like "try this" solution, could you add why using this technic is good and will work? ask her out. Do NOT make any comments about their physical appearance, that will make it weird forever. . When asking out a cashier, one should be aware that there is always a chance of rejection. Whatever you do don't follow them after work into the parking lot. Established relationships longer than 6 months posts should go to r/relationship_advice And I'd even more strongly recommend not waiting for her in a parking area! So everything is possible but it has a lot to do with the interpersonal chemistry. If she's interested, she'll follow it unless unable. And its so true; it can be tricky to know if someone just really likes corn or really likes you. If theyre burning with desire, theyll run into you. Agreed. Only ask the gent out during his break or free time. Hmm I once gave my phone number to someone who worked the counter at a restaurant after seeing them there a few times. But regardless of where the pendulum swings, they are stuck behind that counter, so theres a power issue. is it time to put my employee on a formal improvement plan? Do it OP. I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. Try a man cashier. How To Ask A Cashier Out? The OP posts an innocuous I see you every day at the 7-11 and I think youre cute but the employee thinks she posted the one that lists off 200 acts the Kama Sutra never dreamed of. Both scenarios happened to me multiple times and it was always uncomfortable and always put me in an intensely awkward situation. It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. I suspect answers can be highly different depending on the cultural context. What are the prerequisites of whimsy? I think it can be ok if you do it very carefully. If they seem receptive, try suggesting an activity or outing that could potentially bring both of you closer together. Its been over a YEAR since I had the nerve to try dating or asking anyone out and I had just decided its going to be this guy. This is coming from a womans perspective, so take it with a grain of salt. I've just met a guy, he may be the one! Toastmasters chapter. Be sincere and respectful in your approach as this will leave a good impression on them and make them more likely to accept your invitation. You were thinking about tackling her during work? In fact, the last time I was nice to the tax office woman, I asked her if I was the first dude not to yell at her today. She again said no. not into you, unless you look very good. I must disclose agenda: I want a world where women are inherently safe and empowered. And each creep is going to make contact with every victim that he possibly can, perhaps more than once. They would try to dazzle me with charm, I would kindly redirect them to dazzle me with good work. By entering this site you declare It's long enough to exchange more than a couple of sentences and gauge interest. She's working, and since she's working as a cashier, her job description doesn't involve being picked up by random guys. She flushed, returned the change, and caressed my hand in return. Theres also no way to guarantee itll go smoothly (he could say no, or you could go out and it could be disastrous), so if thats going to keep you from shopping there, youve got to decide which you want more: the possibility of a date with him or the certainty that you can continue comfortably going to that store. OP here, Im female and not crazy :). And the never mentioning it again is mandatory. Q: How can I gain confidence to ask a cashier out? The whole thing was awkward (dude who are you and why are you asking me out after literally 1 minute of interaction?) Since the store is just 5 min away from my place I visit regularly and don't want to leave a bad impression there. Idiot. And thanks for the suggestion for a no-pressure meet-up, thats a super idea! You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. Ugh, do you know how most men respond to being turned down? The problem is that all the good intent in the world doesnt really change how the service person being put on the spot is going to react. I just checked it for my area, and, sure enough I delivered your pizza last night; you were in a swimsuit. And I love cheese but dont have any from Spain. Be very casual about it. When I saw your name The IT Crowd was the first thing I thought of! Being a little bit creepy, is okay, if you can't help it (you should), but don't be a stalker. It was pure stare porn, and she flushed and sighed. do I need to wear nylons to a job interview or are bare legs OK? I went to the same drive-thru for YEARS and had a crush on the guy who worked there. A: Rejection can be tough, but its important to accept it gracefully. Id also like to point out that for all of your talk about women having agency and being liberated, that youre not actually listening to all of the women who have posted here saying that they do not enjoy being hit on/creeped on/asked out by customers at their place of work and that they just want to do their job without feeling like a Playboy bunny. Please. Attraction is not the result of a negotiation. You could either leave her your phone number and tell her to say hi sometime (and I stress that you leave her your number and do not ask her for hers) or you could be a ?. With the acknowledgment that some people may say NOT to ask a cashier out at her work, can I get some ideas from you all assuming that I AM going to ask her out. It made me question my behavior and be mad at myself for smiling a lot and just being casual and courteous. WebTalk about what you're going to make with your items. That fact can confuse the romantic, so special handling is required. WebIf you're a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. maybe?? My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night and it'll be our first performance all year. You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. So, for me, Id play it extra-super-cautious and wait for the big neon sign and the person to ask me. I may have spent several hours of my life yelling, YES OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT IS HER JOB at my computer. be honest, sincere and have your name and This could go either way! She either says yes or no, and if no you honorably and politely take the rejection. When he's getting off work and what plans he has afterward. I have never asked an employee out or hit on a woman working before, and for some reason I think this woman is special, even though I dont know intimate details about her life and vice versa. Important: you give your number and dont ask for his number, and you do it on paper so that you dont need to text to his number or handle his phone to input anything. Hi, OP here. ", If she expresses interest in the activity as well, tell her more about it so she can attend: "Yeah, it's really fun. We dated for close to a year, and when it ended, it did not end well. If the cashier is interested in going out, its best to take things slow and get to know each other better before making any big decisions. You rarely get a sense of whether someones interesting when theyre being polite or friendly due to the nature of their job.

Schubert Serenade Guitar Tab, Do Raccoons Eat Asparagus, Articles H